funny things my husband says...

For those of you who know my husband, you know he is quite the character! Over the last few days he has had some one-liners that have had me rolling over in stitches and I know that they might be the "oh, you had to be there" kinda things but OMGosh have they been funny!!!

Disclaimer: I know I have a brain, I am using it right now to write out this blog... I know I have a brain because I remember getting my bachelors, then my MBA.... I know I have a brain, just the location of where it is can be the mystery!

After I had a minor incident while driving/navigating his truck through the Target parking lot and I was freaking out because if there is one little scratch I am grounded... his response: if we'd lived in the horse and buggy days, our horse would surely come back glue! {BTW, the truck is fine!}

I confess, when I am exhausted and need to do something quickly, I don't always put things back exactly where they go so when I borrowed his toothpaste {and I didn't squeeze from the middle!}... his response was on behalf of "Mr. Toothpaste" in this voice that sounds like Vince Vaughn meets Gilbert Gottfried & delivered with a Mickey Mouse giggle: "Oh my, how did I not get back into the drawer where I normally sleep next to my roommate Floss. Gee, I guess I am going to bach it here on the counter or take a mini-vacation to the other drawer where Mrs. Wragge's toothbrush lives..." This continued on for at least 5 minutes and my sister & mom were cracking up! 

Regarding my cell phone charger and my apple laptop power cord... I use his. Don't ask me where my cell phone charger is, I don't have a clue. I can tell you where all the girls clothes are, where Mr. Pig is at all times, the location of Addie's pink Dora croc that always goes missing... but I couldn't tell you where my cell phone charger is. I do know where my apple laptop power cord is... it has been at the scrapbook shop since the middle of May. I have made three trips up there since then and yes, I have come home all three times without my cord. Today, Tony drove me up to the scrapbook shop {we had to run errands, but deep down I think that was the main errand on his list} so I could finally pick up my cord. I go into the shop, chit chat, buy a few new things, drop off the bday cards for friends and then get in the truck. We get down the street and Tony says... "did you get your cord?" My response: "Um, no....oops!" He whipped that truck into a fierce U-turn and back to the shop we went.

I love you Tony! You balance me... you are the calm, steady, think-it-through rock of the family while I am the over-anxious-list-making-i-promise-to-get-it-all-done one. The girls and I are going to miss you while you are in Jersey reading the teleprompters and smiling for the NFL camera!  mmmmm-whaaa! {i.e. kisses!}